Techniques for taming tantrums
Your little one is having a kicking, screaming mega-meltdown in the frozen-food
aisle. And you're sure everyone in the market is thinking, "Why is that child carrying
on, and how come the parent isn't doing something to stop it?"
The period from 14 to 30 months is a peak time for tantrums, says Lynn Wegner, M.D.,
F.A.A.P., a developmental and behavioral pediatrician and adjunct professor at the
University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Toddlers that age are learning to verbalize
their feelings.
Young children whose "wants" are being blocked are apt to lose control, especially
when hungry, tired or over-stimulated. Parents in a chaotic public setting, focusing
on the task at hand, are less likely to notice shifts in their child's mood. This
means they may miss the chance to defuse matters before a full-blown tantrum breaks
out.
Preventing a tantrum is much easier than stopping one. So before you step out with
your child:
• Try to plan your outing for a time when crowds are few. That helps you avoid long
lines and reduces embarrassment if it all falls apart anyway.
• Ensure you and your child are well fed, comfortably dressed and rested before
you leave.
• Offer some run-around time before you confine your child to a shopping cart or
stroller.
• Bring toys, snacks or books to entertain and distract if need be.
Even with preparation and planning, tantrums are bound to happen at times. When
they do:
• Make sure the environment is safe if your child is kicking, flailing or throwing
things. Remove the child if sharp corners, breakables or other objects pose injury
risks.
• Remove your child if you want to avoid disturbing others or ease your own stress.
It may be easier to calm the child in a quiet place.
• Don't worry about other people's reactions. Focus on your child, Dr. Wegner says.
Pick actions based on your child's unique needs and temperament. Some youngsters
respond to being held or to a parent's calm, repetitive words. Others do best with
watchful waiting.
• Stay centered, take deep breaths and remember: This too shall pass. Hopefully,
soon!